GO MAVERICKS!!
The last week of school is a busy one, but not too busy to take time to remind anyone looking here that the Mavericks play tonight. I'm not a cheerleader type, but damn, I want them to win.
« April 2003 | Main | June 2003 »
The last week of school is a busy one, but not too busy to take time to remind anyone looking here that the Mavericks play tonight. I'm not a cheerleader type, but damn, I want them to win.
The son's move went smoothly. His dad saw fit to just loan him the pickup (see 5/22 post) and the poor kiddo covered a lot of miles by himself Saturday. His sister helped out by carrying a load in her SUV. We stayed here and let them do it, worried about holiday traffic and his driving an unfamiliar vehicle, but they were done by dark.
Now I miss him. It's a very difficult time when your kids are no longer children and not yet adults. Sometimes they are so mature that you just swell with pride. Then they revert to being about nine years old, and you wonder if they will ever grow up. I admit it will be nice to go to bed on Saturday night not trying to stay awake enough to listen for his coming home. No more waking early on Sunday morning to check out front for his car or peek into his room, making sure he is safe. But then, I will miss his humor. He always makes me laugh and although cleaning and picking up aren't his forte, he is certainly helpful in many ways and quite knowledgeable about a variety of things. Quite the fix-it guy.
So it's done. Cliches about leaving the nest abound. I hope he is happy and successful and never returns to live here. On the other hand, I would go get him and bring him home to keep here forever in a nanosecond. Friday night, my husband, worried as I was, offered up "Now all we can do is pray" and he meant it. A complete anomaly coming from a veritable agnostic, it made me smile.... and cry a little too.
We still have a ten year old and will get to do this again. I don't know if experience will make it easier or not. It's always different, but it's also always a mixture of melancholy and joy.
Bittersweet.
The oldest son is about to move out. The plan was to move next weekend, but things change quickly when you're his age. A little history. I came here in May of '99, remarried in November of 2000 and my son stayed in New Mexico with his dad until September of 2001. He's been here living with us since. I thank God for the time we've had together and we are closer now than we ever were, or ever would have been under the previous circumstances.
Somehow we've made it work and he has managed to accept, and I hope love, a stepdad and stepbrother. It was rocky at first and it hasn't been easy, but we've all evolved and become a family. He's ready now to be on his own. He's only moving a couple of hours away to go to school and work and be with his girlfriend. He's saved his money and rented a nice place, planning to move _next_ weekend. However, a job came up that starts Tuesday and he has to be there sooner.
None of us have a vehicle that will carry the bed, desk, donated washer and dryer, tv, etc. that make up his belongings. But luck would have it that his dad will be near here for a family reunion this weekend in a pickup, and can get the largest of his stuff down there.
So what's the problem? You see, my ex can't stand to see me. He has managed to avoid me through our daughter's college graduation and our son's HS graduation, but there is no way he can come to my house to load up our son's belongings and not see me. I don't understand. And since I can't talk to him directly, oh Heaven's no, all communication is through our son. If you are divorced, or a stepparent, you probably know how defensive a child can be of the other parent. We see it regularly with John's son concerning his mother. Of course, she lives nearby and we see and talk to her weekly. Unpleasant though it may be, it's a necessary part of life and we keep things as amiable as possible for the child's sake.
So at this point, I don't know what is going to happen. My son is closemouthed and nervous and I feel it is for no good reason. His wellbeing is my main concern. I think things are made unduly difficult by my ex's inability to just get on with life. It's not as if we were blissfully happy and I split. No. In fact, we hung on in misery for years trying to make it work for our children.
I don't wallow in guilt over the changes I've made in my life, in fact, I think my happiness has been beneficial for my kids. I just wish that all divorced parents and stepparents could set aside their own selfishness and childishness and think of the burden they place on their children by behaving irrationally. After all, we all love them and want them to be happy and healthy and successful in life. It's not that hard, is it?
If you are worried about mad cow, see this. It had me rolling on the floor. I just love the internet.
After my last post on secondhand smoke, it seems only right to share this.
After New York City's recent ban of smoking, restaurants and bars are inventing dishes and drinks featuring none other than nicotiana, otherwise known as nicotine. Yup. At Trump World Tower’s World Bar, you can order a Smokeless Manhattan--three ounces of Churchill’s port, Laphroaig scotch, and orange bitters that’s supposed to taste something like Marlboro Reds. It contains no actual nicotine, though you can order it garnished with a Nicorette. Elsewhere, you can have a Nicotini, a blend of vanilla-flavored vodka, the coffee liqueur Kahlua and a splash of tobacco juice.
Not to be outdone by bartenders, chef Sandro Fioriti of NYC Italian restaurant Serafina Sandro
came up with his own nicotine laced delicacies. The dishes include gnocchi made with tobacco, filet mignon served in a tobacco-wine sauce with dried-tobacco garnish, tobacco panna cotta and tobacco-infused grappa. More are in the works. Mmmmm.
Has you reminiscing about those brownies mom _didn't_ make when you were in high school, huh?
For a laugh, check out Gersh Kuntzman's entertaining piece about his own nicotine cuisine sampling. Here's the New York Post's take on the effect of the ban on NYC's restaurant and bar industry. Also see what's happened to NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg's popularity in the aftermath of the ban.
I'm not an activist, and nope, this space is not supported by the tobacco industry. However, I wouldn't be offended if Brown & Williamson sent me a few bucks. Even some really good coupons would be nice.
Okay. I confess. I smoke. It is a nasty, unhealthy, horrible habit, but if you smoke and if you have tried to quit, you know it is not easy to kick the habit. 'Nuff said. My concern, and the guilt laid upon me by my husband, is that even if I care not for myself, consider the effects on him.
I read today of a new study by the UCLA School of Public Health published in the May 17 issue of the British Medical Journal that shows there are no measurable rates of heart disease or lung cancer among nonsmokers who ever lived with smokers. "We found no measurable effect from being exposed to secondhand smoke and an increased risk of heart disease or lung cancer in nonsmokers -- not at any time or at any level," lead researcher James Enstrom, PhD, MPH, of the UCLA School of Public Health, says. "The only thing we did find, which was not reported in the study, is that nonsmokers who live with smokers have a increased risk of widowhood because their smoking spouses do die prematurely."
Of course, the American Cancer Society blasted the study , as did the Surgeon General, which one can only expect. Dallas recently used danger of secondhand smoke to ban smoking in almost all public places, allowing it only in bars, tobacco shops and pool halls, which must also provide designated smoking and nonsmoking areas. I know I always seek out the nonsmoking section of a pool hall, don't you?
What ever happened to common sense? Miners keep canaries, right? If the canary keels over, they know to hightail it because poisonous gases are present. I've smoked a long time and lived with many totally indoor pets who lived to extremely ripe old age. I've worked in veterinary clinics where cats were brought in that reeked from sitting in mama's lap for 15 years as she puffed away on unfiltered Marlboros. But not once, even when the doctor was avidly against smoking, was a pet found to have suffered deleterious effects from the owner's smoking. If it's not hurting a ten pound cat, how is it harmful to a two hundred pound man?
I'll end by saying we should _all_ be considerate of one another and exercise a little common sense....
I hope everyone had a great Mother's Day. I know I did. All my family was here and on Saturday, the daughter, my mom, and I went shopping. My mother lives in a small town and has no place to shop besides Wal Mart, so I treated her to some new clothes. My daughter provided a wonderful break in the afternoon with spa pedicures and bellinis. We had a great day.
Sunday was just as great. We ended the day at Edelweiss, a kitschy German restaurant in south Fort Worth where there is a genuine polka band wearing lederhose (leather shorts). I did mention kitsch, didn't I? It was a blast. We almost danced our newly gorgeous toes off.
My son gifted me with a rack of beautiful dipping oils and by building a top shelf on my potting bench, which I love. My dear husband surprised me (even though I'm not his mother) with French matches, "The Best of James Taylor", a gift certificate to Restoration Hardware and Post Mortem, a PC game I've been wanting.
Post Mortem comes from Microids , the same people who created Syberia, another adventure game that I loved. I prefer my games to be beautiful, eerie, and challenging. No shooting, stabbing, or swordplay for me.
PM lacked the otherworldliness of Syberia. You can easily read about the game elsewhere, so I'll just share a few observations. The puzzles were very challenging, translate HARD. Syberia featured lots of mechanical puzzles, whereas PM's are mostly mathematical. And then there was the lock picking that really confused me. More than once, I had to go find help to get through, something I hate to do. Cool features of the game are that gameplay often depends on the direction you take conversations, even down to what items will be available. Also, about halfway through the game, you play as another character for a while, which is interesting. I understand there are three possible outcomes to the game. I saved before the last chapter, so I could go back, but I doubt I will. All in all, it was entertaining. It has a film noir feel and is set in 20's Paris. If you like adventure games, it is certainly worth your money and time.
I'll close by saying that I am a very, very lucky woman. I have an awesome family and I love and admire them more than they will ever know. I am exceedingly grateful.
I haven't posted here for a while because I've been sick. Not seriously ill, just miserably so. I hate those blogs in which the author almost daily writes of how terrible they feel, listing symptoms and complaints. They whine. It's their blog and the beauty of it all is that nobody paid to get in and no one has to read it. Great, huh?
My illness has been more of the two boxes of tissue a day sort. My husband is sympathetic and sweet, but it always ends with a pat on the head and "You'll be better tomorrow." Real message: "I have no clean underwear." I'm drifting along thinking it is my annual "allergy/sinus infection/maybe it's a tooth" thing, when I'm diagnosed with SARS. Yup. See, the main person I whine to is my mother. It's sooo good. "Oh, you poor baby" and "bless your heart." I can smell Vicks just hearing the words over the phone. I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy and mentholated and loved when it hits, "You don't think it could be SARS, do you?" Huh? She proceeds to explain to me how some of my symptoms match those of SARS victims and there are many unreported cases in Texas and how the Dr. should test for it. Fuzzy and groggy and sniffly as I am, I almost start to fall for it, imagining my family locked up someplace, losing jobs, failing at school, quarantined and shunned as I lay dying. WHOA!
My mother is an intelligent person, but the sources of her information include CNN, Oprah, Good Housekeeping and somebody she talked with in line at Walmart. Retired people seem to have networks of information unavailable to the rest of us. How do I know? Yesterday, Mom's diagnosis was confirmed by a second opinion. My mother-in-law's.
So.. Recovering from SARS as I am, I should be able to once more post regularly. At least until July or so, when I'll likely be maternally diagnosed with the West Nile Virus.