Flapper's Folly

Recently the Puter Ho decided to get a little extra life insurance. Sweetheart that he is, he wants me and our little tribe to be well taken care of. Honestly, it wasn't my idea and I have no plans at all for the huge oleander out back.... It seems if you desire more coverage than what the insurance company considers the norm for you, you are required to have various tests. He had received a letter informing him of this and saying someone would be calling to set it up shortly. A week or so later, a woman called and sat up a time to get the required body fluids.

As he had to fast for 12 hours beforehand, she arranged to come by our house early one morning before work. Seems odd, huh? On the agreed upon day, a little grandmotherly type showed up and took his blood and urine. Well, actually he gave them to her. Since neither he nor I had ever had any kind of drug test, we were amazed that the little cup actually had a temperature strip on it. We are such goofs. Off she hustled with his precious fluids and we swiftly forgot the whole thing.

Yesterday an envelope arrived for him marked "Personal & Confidential." When I realized who it was from, I ripped it open silently praying. Because you never know...... People go to donate blood and find they have cancer. Bad things happen. Of course, if something was wrong, you would want to know so you could start doing something about it. But still..........

I scanned the profile of unfamiliar terms, referring to a second page of explanations. Serum HIV Antibody Status: Non-Reactive. I think to myself, that's negative. Yeah. The last thing I would expect was for it to be positive, but when were you tested? And if you were, wouldn't you feel just some tiny ping of fear until you knew? As it turned out, every single item was within normal range. His triglycerides were very mildly elevated. Not a biggie, I don't think, but something to bring up at his next doctor visit.

He thought it was funny that I was so worried. I couldn't help it. I was so relieved he was healthy.

No amount of money would ever make life worth living without him.