Flapper's Folly

Christmas is over, hopefully your tree and decorations are put away, and if you are like most folks, you now have  a lot of holiday photos.  Most likely the photos are digital and sitting somewhere on a computer, a memory card, or even still in the camera.

I think the  biggest benefit of digital photography is being able to take all the pictures you want. With no  worry about the cost of film or developing, you can snap away. So instead or 40 or 60 images, you now can have hundreds from one holiday season. I know some folks who use their digital cameras much like a film one and print them soon after they are taken.  At our house, that never happens. Indeed they are scattered. The card was emptied onto the laptop or one computer or another every time it is full and soon we don't know where all the pics are or if we ever even looked at them.

Today I came across an article online at Southern Living all about organizing one's digital  photo files.  There are lots of good ideas in the article and included are downloadable templates to make the cute CD covers at left.  There are many more than those pictured and something to suit nearly every occasion. I printed one out and it fit like a charm with no adjustment. There is space provided for the date and event or subject.

We've been using a digital camera since at least 2003 and have racked up a lot of files.  I'm thinking how nice it would be to clear that space on hard drives and place the images in these neat little envelopes in a notebook. Guess I know what I'll be doing in my spare time this week. 

Posted by Rockelle at 5:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Recently the Puter Ho and I acquired a new vehicle. The '97 Pontiac I brought to this union had served well, but when the air conditioner crashed and the cost to repair it was a huge percent of the value, we decided it was time for it to go. We have a nice sedan, but it's getting a lot of miles on it and we're tired of renting the Home Depot truck to bring relatively small things home. Neither of us wanted a pickup, so a small SUV seemed the solution. A friend had recently gotten a Honda CR-V and we liked it and decided it was time to enter the small SUV market.

After a bit of research, off we went to test new vehicles. The CR-V was first. It's a nice size, but comes with few amenities, especially power seats. The Puter Ho is 6 foot and, sadly, I'm a foot shorter. Adjusting seats and mirrors is an almost daily hassle. Listen closely, because the height issue is very important. The back door on the CR-V opens sideways. No sweat. But no power seats, so we start to explore. Up a bit in size and the doors open "up". No problem, but grasping and pulling them down turned out to be a problem. I kind of jumped and hung on. I'm too friggin' old to hang like a monkey to close the back door. Even the car-like Nissan Murano's back door was difficult for me to close.

We test drove every small to midsize SUV in the Metroplex. LIke Goldilocks I climbed in, adjusted seats, drove, and opened and closed rear doors. One was just right... This sweet thing drove like my sedan , only better, the seats and mirrors remembered individual settings and glory of glories, the rear door opened and closed at the touch of a button. It was perfect. Oh yeah. In all it's cushy leather and Steinway wood trim, it was everything I ever wanted. And cost more than my first house!

We bought it. Why? Because I could manage the rear door and the seats adjusted so easily. That's the truth. My daughter said I needed a bigger rock on the hand that steers it. My mother said that "at my age" I deserve it. The Puter Ho said it had to have the Navigation package which cost what the car that goes with the first house cost.

So why is this post titled "Old Hippie Chick"? I'll tell you. I'm ashamed. I love the car. I love the comfort, the kickass sound system, the navigation, the rear door. I love it all. Hell, my cell phone rings, it mutes the radio, and I answer it on the steering wheel and just talk. But there is a part of me that is ashamed to own it. It is soooo not me. I'm all natural and not materialistic. Really. I am the ultimate hippie chick. We can leave off the "old" part. It's the first thing I have owned that really grates against everything I stand for.

In the past I've sneered at bleached, tanned, manicured bitches driving such vehicles as they gabbed away into their phones. Remember. I'm not like that.

I don't even have to touch my phone.

Posted by Rockelle at 5:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Okay. It's true my last entry here was in January 2005. Over a year; fourteen months to be exact. So why write now? I still read lots of blogs and I began to notice that many were celebrating anniversaries. Two, three, even four years blogging and I realized I had passed the milestone of not blogging for a year.

During this time the Puter Ho urged me to get back to it, but there seemed so many reasons not to. There was a point when I felt that continuing with the current administration in office would only drive me to drink or at least develop an ulcer. Words just could not, cannot, express my disgust. So, there was that. Then this other thing happened. Last May, almost a year ago, I became a grandma. Yep. I would like to say an obscenely young one, but actually it's perfect. I'm not too young, my daughter isn't too young, but I am young enough to be around a long time and hopefully play with my great grandchildren some day. There was also painting and redecorating the house. Falling on a watermelon and painfully bruising my ribs (NO, the watermelon didn't bust :P ) A host of other obstacles have stood between me and a return to blogging.

Then a few days ago my husband was looking at the stats of several sites he is part of and found that my little blog was still getting quite a bit of traffic. And not just spiders and crawlers and such. Folks are still linking to bits and pieces. I guess I felt that once I did it, it was gone. So with the Puter Ho beginning a new web venture, I'm determined to take a moment now and then and share my thoughts, experiences, and observations. And I promise not too many pics of our dear little Madeline.

Posted by Rockelle at 1:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

One of the greatest joys of my life is that my children love each other. It's also one of the biggest surprises. A daughter 25 and a son 21, four years apart so each had plenty of baby time, I've often felt they would gladly murder one another if the opportunity presented itself. Having no siblings myself, I could never understand the bitter fighting and, what seemed to me, absolute hatred they exhibited as children.

From salted hot chocolate to grass burrs hidden in beds, there seemed no end to their meanness. Once they were both out of car seats, I would sit in the backseat with my daughter while my son sat up front with his dad on family trips to avoid the horror of the two them sitting back there. Often more disturbing than the fighting itself was the constant tattling. “He said.” “She said.” “He hit me!” “She took my __” It went on and on.

Now they are adults, (more or less) It’s hard to think of them that way. They are both married. Yes, probably too young, but it tells me that even though their parents’ marriage didn’t survive, they still believe in marriage. Both have wonderful spouses whom I love as my own.

Most surprising is that they love and care for each other the way they do. They confide, commiserate, advise and admonish. They spend hours on the phone sharing their lives, their hopes, and their fears. It’s almost unimaginable. Oh, but it is wonderful and more than I ever hoped for.

I’ve always envied siblings, thinking how great it would be to have someone who had always known you. A person you shared your life, your history with, in a way no spouse or friend or even a parent ever could. I see my parents as they enter old age becoming close once again with brothers and sisters and I thank God that my children will have that. It’s a blessing to know that although I will die and marriages and friendships can dissolve, they will have each other. And always be on the same side.

Blake. Nicole. I am honored to be your mother…

Posted by Rockelle at 10:18 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

When was the last time you paid attention to the body count in Iraq? As of this morning, 23 of our troops have died since Saturday. That's since Saturday. Now I'm no slouch at searching the internet, but I can assure you, you will be hard put to find a total since the beginning of action. If you know, please share, because I could find no official total.

What's happened to our media? Yeah, they still make a big deal about the innocent Iraqis we kill, but where are the figures on our troops? I remember watching Cronkite as a kid and seeing neat little bar graphs of fatalities during the Viet Nam "conflict"..... Where are those now? Where are the people that were protesting when this thing began? Has the friggin' Bush administration so intimidated the media and everyone else that there can be no dissension?

What's going to happen? One can't help but draw parallels between Iraq and Viet Nam, and it wasn't settled in one, or even two administrations. Even if Kerry wins, and God knows he must, how will he be able to get us out? What really turns my stomach is that I live in Texas and most of my fellow Texans will vote for Bush because he's a Texan and he kicked ass.... HUH????? It's scary.

One of my biggest disappointments is the youth of our country. Aren't young people supposed to be idealistic? I can see how it fades as you age, but shouldn't our kids care? Are they all so caught up in aquiring the latest whatsit and living vicariously through reality crap tv that they don't notice or care what is happening to their country? Or are they just totally disillusioned, believieng that nothing they do matters?

If there ever was a time to sing God Bless America, this is it.

Posted by Rockelle at 4:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I really dropped the ball blog-wise in December, but I was juggling plenty elsewhere. So much work and anticipation building up to one day is stressful, but I can honestly say that my family and I had a wonderful Christmas. We are blessed in every way. I am very thankful.

The older I get, the more I appreciate good times. There was a time I never really enjoyed the moment for worrying what disaster was around the corner. I now know there will always be troubles that come and go. Hopefully, small ones. (Knock on wood) :) All the more reason to savor those precious moments when all is well.

A few years ago, in the middle of a separation and divorce and alienated from my son, I never would have believed things could work out so wonderfully. I'm now married to my true companion, a remarkable man with whom I am compatible in ways I continue to discover. After living with us for almost two years, my son loves me and is happy. He has brought a wonderful girl into our lives whom we love and appreciate in so many ways. He is less than two hours away and I talk to him several times a week. In my opinion, that's damned good for a 20 year old male. Note to all guys: Call your mother!

My ten year old stepson and I have finally forged a relationship which feels strong and true. I love him. We have him about half the time and there are inherent difficulties with his mother, but I know that everntually he will be grown and we won't have to deal with her any more. Of course, first we will have to go through his teens and I don't expect it to be easy. I only hope my experience and perspective will help in the process.

Now, the only sad part of this soliloquy. I've been so lucky that for a few years my daughter has lived in the metroplex. She and her husband, whom we love and is a huge help to us so often and a great cook to boot, live about an hour away. She and I get to go on fun shopping expeditions and often share her horrible commute on the phone. My dear daughter, my best friend, is moving. January 31st, she will begin a new job in Lubbock. I'm proud and happy as can be for her. It's the right move, career wise. It's her old familiar stomping ground and I think they will be happy there. But I will miss her so much.

I have to remind myself to appreciate the moment again and remember that I made a change that affected all these people a few years ago. Change is not bad. We really can't foresee what glorious things are in store for us.

Happy New Year!

Posted by Rockelle at 5:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

What a week the last week has been. On Sunday before Thanksgiving, we lost one of our cats. Josephine, pictured at right, disappeared from the backyard. First of all, let me explain how she came to be outside in the first place. We have three cats, Wellington, ten, Josephine, about 8, and Bijou, 4. Wellington, otherwise know by me as Willy, is a neutered male but doesn't know it. Were he a horse, I would say he was proud cut. His and Josie's presence predates mine. I came and I added Bijou to the mix.

Two years ago Josephine developed an auto immune disorder affecting her soft tissue. Her paws and ears began to just dry up. After a proper diagnosis, and many months of experimentation, she is maintained on steroids. Her skin was healthier, but her personality changed. The other cats picked on her and soon she stayed hidden under the bed all the time, barely venturing out to eat and drink and never venturing to the litter box. It became unbearable. We tried everything. As an ill adult cat is difficult to find a new home for, we felt we could either have her put down or try keeping her outdoors. We put her in the backyard last spring and she flourished. Queen of her fenced domain, she chased insects, ran laps, and never jumped the fence. It was great. Then on Sunday the 23rd, with the wind blowing horribly and temperatures dropping, we came home in the afternoon and she was gone. Night came and no Josie. We searched and searched. On Monday I made posters and put them up all over the neighborhood and surrounding area and at the nearest veterinarian's office. All week, we heard nothing. Then last night, we came in from Christmas shopping, and had a message from someone, who having seen the poster at the vet's, thought she might have her. At least a mile away and over busy streets, we hurried to see if it was our Josie. And there she was, in a box in their garage. Thin and slightly dirty, but otherwise unharmed. Oddly, three weeks ago, they had to put to sleep their 14 year old calico, and the woman had seen Josie a couple of times during the week, but when she mentioned it to her family they thought she was just imagining seeing the beloved cat they had lost. Yesterday, the daughter saw her and realizing she might be the cat on the poster, they managed to capture her and hold her until we could get there. How she got so far away, we'll never know. What wonderful people! They wouldn't accept a reward, so we are making a donation to the Humane Society in their name and nearer Christmas we plan to do something special for their sweet family. As for us, Christmas came early this year.

Posted by Rockelle at 10:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

The holidays are coming. Yipee! The older I get the "scroogier" I become. It's just a horrible time to be a woman. Somehow it is upon women's shoulders to provide everyone with loving feelings, wonderful gifts, delicious food, and happy memories. It sucks.

I love some parts of the celebration. I like decorating the house. I have trees in all rooms of the house and every year one of them gets a new theme. This year the one in our bedroom will be French with Eiffel Towers, toile, maribou and fleur di lis. I've got the supplies to start making ornaments and have it all planned, but I don't know when I'll get to it. I like to make candies. I'm the only person in my family who still makes my grandmother's divinity, pralines, and fudge. It's important to me.

I like giving gifts to those I love, but I hate the shopping and I think it's wrong when someone hands you a list and tells you where to get the desired items or requests cash so they can get whatever they want. And I especially resent obligatory gifts. You know, gifts for people you know nothing about and care even less for. What is the spirit of that? And then there are the gifts for family members. Not your immediate family, not the ones you wish you could give more to, but the family you never see, usually not even at Christmas. Thanksgiving rolls around and you get a call telling you what to get their child and they ask what to purchase for your kiddo. If you're lucky you can order it online and have shipped directly to them. This way there is absolutely nothing personal about the transaction. That's just WRONG!

Don't get the idea I'm cheap or uncaring. I don't want to receive any obligatory gifts either. A gift is supposed to represent feeling. Hopefully a warm one. I could go on and on, but not today. I will finish by saying that I will no longer be the enforcer of all this madness. If you don't want to call your sister, don't! If the scout leader, dance instructor, or SS teacher is an ass, I will not suggest a gift be given.

This year I may make candy, enjoy my pretty trees, be with the people I truly love and the rest of it can be damned.

Posted by Rockelle at 12:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Today is Veteran's Day, a day on which we honor those who lost their lives in service to this country. You may or may not be aware of it. My day started as usual. Out of bed, check email and briefly scan the headlines while I get my morning caffiene jolt. Neither on Netscape's homepage or MSN's was there any mention of it being Veteran's Day. In fact, nothing I looked at acknowledged the holiday. Perhaps television was a different story, but I don't get my morning news there. Only when I arrived later at the bank, did I realize it was a holiday. Myself and about ten others standing there like goofs trying to figure out why it was closed.

Later my mother called and told me that she and my dad were planning to attend a ceremony this evening at the courthouse in their little town. My dad is a veteran, having served in Japan during the Korean conflict. Conflict, one of many stupid euphemisms for war. They knew it was Veteran's Day. Why didn't I?

Why didn't the internet community, if you can call it that, not recognize this day? Is it that the majority of us are simply too young for it to be important anymore? As World War II veterans die off, will the significance of the day simply fade from our memory? That's sad, you know. It's unforgivable.

I'm not someone driving around in a SUV with flags flying all over it and my head up my ass claiming to be a proud American. I remember Viet Nam. I remember nightly body counts on the news. I remember Nixon. I want to cry as I hear the daily accounts of boys lost in Iraq. But what really scares me more than anything is the passivity of Americans. Not just the redneck types raising their beers saying, "Hell Yeah, I'm a proud American!" but more so the intelligent ones lifting their grande lattes and driving their 60K+ vehicles who are just too busy making and spending money to think about it.

Americans need to start thinking. They need to remember. Remember not only the people who gave their lives for the good and just cause but also those whose lives were sacrificed merely for political aims. I believe that Nixon was a very intelligent person in spite of all his malfeasance. The present Bush is nothing but a smart aleck airhead from Midland serving as a puppet for Nixon's old hawks.

Remember. Not only the ones that died 50 or more years ago, but also the ones that died yesterday and then think about how many more will die. Then think, for God's sake, think.

Posted by Rockelle at 4:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I spent yesterday doing what I promised. There is no organized effort in this area, at least none I could find, providing any kind of aid whatsoever to California Wildfire victims. I contacted the local television stations asking if they planned any fund raisers and the anwer was "no." I was referred to their sister network affiliates in California and all of those affiliates suggest donations be made to the Southern California Wildfire Relief Fund which I listed here yesterday. I chose to contribute to it.

I listed local Californian Red Cross chapters yesterday. You can also contribute to the Salvation Army Southern California Wildfire relief effort. I found an excellent source of information to be the website of California US Senator Barbara Boxer.

I suppose we never really consider what it would mean to pack up what we could carry and leave our homes, possibly to return and find our homes and everything in them gone. I know, in my house, first in the car would be my beloved animals, but shelters for people are not equipped to handle pets, let alone horses, goats, iguanas, and parakeets. There are huge efforts being made to house and feed these displaced animals. PETsMART is helping. Countless kennels and humane societies are all donating space, food and services. County fairgrounds are housing livestock and acting as clearinghouses for lost pets. People are donating use of their trailers to transport livestock out of endangered areas. I read one place that the Red Cross was helping to fund some of the efforts involving county properties. There were many local animal shelters with nothing but phone numbers for me to offer, but the task would fill the page so I have chosen not to. I contacted PETsMART suggesting they set up a fund for the animal rescue effort. As a national chain, they would reach countless people, and frankly, it would be great PR. I have not yet gotten a response from them. Please, if this interests you, email them and add your request. Many voices are louder than one.

Have a fun & safe Halloween.

Posted by Rockelle at 11:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Reports on the fires in California continue to be grim. More lives lost, more homes destroyed, and thousands of acres consumed. I am upset by this, but I am more upset by the way people react to it. I live in the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex. When a small town with maybe a population of 3000 is hit by a tornado, the local news carries stories of where to donate food, money and goods to help those afflicted. We see Christian organizations loading up trucks and heading off on their good Samaritan missions. Where are these things now?

Is it that most of us consider California La La Land? Can we not muster sympathy for the loss of a million dollar home? Even if that home is no larger than the one we live in? Perhaps it is that most people here cannot begin to imagine the scope, the sheer size of those fires. People here speak of distance in minutes. They have no understanding of miles except perhaps in the air. They certainly don't know the first thing about acres or sections.

Yes, I know, that is a generalization. I shouldn't do that. I can't help it. I was raised in a small town and there was an innate belief that city people didn't know the first thing about the rest of the country that surrounded them. No, not every person in a city. And certainly no specific city. But I've lived in the city long enough now to observe that generally it is true.

Last night I watched the local weatherman try to descibe the size of these fires in terms of the metroplex. He tried to explain what 660,000 acres would be. Do you realize it is more than three times the size of New York City? And yes, the images we see are full of trees, but there are houses in those trees. Family homes full of family heirlooms, kid's bicycles, and all the earthly possessions of people just like you and me. Not all houses are built cookie cutter style on flattened postage stamp lots.

Yes, this is a rant. This is my place to rant. I fully realize I should do more than rant. I don't intend to sit on my ass and complain about the complacency of others. I'm taking the initiative this time. Today I am calling and finding out where help is needed most and how to get it there. I will pass this information on to you. And I ask that others take this matter up at your church, workplace, or any organization you are involved in. I believe people are generous and good, they simply need direction. Contact me with information of any efforts and I will post them here and pass them along in every way I know.

More than 2,600 homes have been lost. Countless people are homeless and without possessions. Those people are just like you and me.

Update: Due to changes made since 9/11, it is no longer possible to earmark donations for specific localities to the National Red Cross. The Red Cross is a wonderful organization and providing shelters and help for those suffering in California. To assist in those efforts, donations should be made to the local chapters: San Diego/Imperial Counties Red Cross Chapter , the Claremont Chapter, the Inland Empire Chapter, the San Gabriel Valley Chapter, the Riverside County Chapter, whose office is temporarily relocated due to the fires, the Ventura County Chapter ... (more to be added as available)

Contributions to the Southern California Wildfire Relief Fund will be matched dollar for dollar
up to a total of $100,000 by the California Community Foundation. They have waived all administrative fees associated with the establishment of the fund and the disbursement of grants to permit 100 percent of the money raised to be available quickly to the disaster area.

Posted by Rockelle at 11:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Root canal. Bleh........
'Nuf said.

Posted by Rockelle at 6:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Do they automatically issue handicapped plates when you register a Lincoln Town Car?

Posted by Rockelle at 4:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

As you get older, you find you are responsible, or semi responsible, for more and more people. And you wish that age truly did grant you some great wisdom, but it really isn't so. Mostly, you have experience and experience teaches you that most problems in life are dealt with and quickly forgotten. You come to realize that as long as everyone is healthy, the other stuff is not worth sweating too much about. It's very difficult to convey that to someone who is young and unsure and in a bind.

My two grown children come to me for advice in a crisis. My ex, their dad, to whom I was married for many years, is no good in these situations. If he was, I wouldn't have depended so heavily on my father most of my adult life. My father is now a victim of alzhaimers. I can no longer rely on my Dad's advice to save the day. The buck stops here. I'm always here to help. I'll do anything I possibly can, but sometimes I simply don't know what is best.

I now realize how terribly broad my Daddy's shoulders were to carry all that responsibility. He was never a know-it-all, but he listened calmly and carefully to a problem and then presented a plan. If you followed that plan, it would be okay. I realize now that he couldn't always have been sure his plan would work, but I know that he would have backed it up and made it right if it didn't. That took tremendous confidence and was a huge responsibility and he never backed down from the task.

Daddy, nobody will ever fill your shoes...

Posted by Rockelle at 5:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

October is here! My favorite month. The mornings are so crisp and golden. I've already piled pumpkins and pots of mums on the porch. I love it. Now if the Allergra will just kick in..

My birthday is in October. Everything about the month was perfect until I married the Puter Ho. See, his birthday is in October too. Now before you go thinking this has to do with the perils of two Libras living together, which I can assure you would be a great idea for a situation comedy, let me explain.

This man is a great giver of gifts. He prides himself on bestowing presents that illicit tears. The perfect thing that you maybe never thought of, but now that it's here, you realize it's all you could ever want. He has stayed up all night watching for scalpers and in the end spending far too much to get a particular antique stereoscope on Ebay. He visited every retailer in the metroplex in search of the ideal leather jacket. I should be happy, right? NO!

You see the problem here is that his birthday comes first. If mine came first, I could always outdo him. If he spent too much, I would spend even more. In the rarity index, I would always top him with the most unique, extraordinary, and unusual of items. But I have to go first and most of his wishlist is available at CompUSA. I've learned to my sorrow not to go out on a limb. The beautiful Ralph Lauren cashmere sweater I bought him sits in the back of the closet, unworn except for once after a tearful display. Mine, not his.

I do the best I can. I am a faithful customer of ThinkGeek. I once scored high with a business card case made from a circuit board. At least I think that's what it was. Don't get me wrong, I try hard not to see it as a competition. I know it is because he loves me that he goes to so much trouble to surprise me.

I only hope he knows that just as much love and attention goes into the less than stellar gifts I give him.

Posted by Rockelle at 10:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

What a great weekend! We traveled to Oklahoma for my uncle's 75th birthday. As familys go, mine is small. Both my parents have only two siblings, all but one having two children. The other one only has one. As I have no brothers or sisters and my grandparents are all gone, my parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins are the only family I have. This was a rare opportunity to see them under happy circumstances.

It's strange to see your parents, aunts and uncles getting so old. Finding yourself with grown children and some of your cousins already grandparents themselves. It seems it wasn't that long ago we were eating on the card table, listening to the grownups, our parents, sitting at the big table, talking and laughing.

My uncle was divorced from the mother of my cousins years ago. He then married a woman with four young children. It was wonderful that they were all there, even helped plan it, and proof that families are more about love than blood. I see it in my own little family, as my stepson benefits from having a big brother and sister and my children are blessed with a stepdad that loves them. We all benefit.

Coming from such a small family myself, it's gladdening to see how love seems to grow. Hearts open and encompass others so readily. Tolstoy wrote that all happy families are alike, but I think mine is very special.

Posted by Rockelle at 11:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Recently the Puter Ho decided to get a little extra life insurance. Sweetheart that he is, he wants me and our little tribe to be well taken care of. Honestly, it wasn't my idea and I have no plans at all for the huge oleander out back.... It seems if you desire more coverage than what the insurance company considers the norm for you, you are required to have various tests. He had received a letter informing him of this and saying someone would be calling to set it up shortly. A week or so later, a woman called and sat up a time to get the required body fluids.

As he had to fast for 12 hours beforehand, she arranged to come by our house early one morning before work. Seems odd, huh? On the agreed upon day, a little grandmotherly type showed up and took his blood and urine. Well, actually he gave them to her. Since neither he nor I had ever had any kind of drug test, we were amazed that the little cup actually had a temperature strip on it. We are such goofs. Off she hustled with his precious fluids and we swiftly forgot the whole thing.

Yesterday an envelope arrived for him marked "Personal & Confidential." When I realized who it was from, I ripped it open silently praying. Because you never know...... People go to donate blood and find they have cancer. Bad things happen. Of course, if something was wrong, you would want to know so you could start doing something about it. But still..........

I scanned the profile of unfamiliar terms, referring to a second page of explanations. Serum HIV Antibody Status: Non-Reactive. I think to myself, that's negative. Yeah. The last thing I would expect was for it to be positive, but when were you tested? And if you were, wouldn't you feel just some tiny ping of fear until you knew? As it turned out, every single item was within normal range. His triglycerides were very mildly elevated. Not a biggie, I don't think, but something to bring up at his next doctor visit.

He thought it was funny that I was so worried. I couldn't help it. I was so relieved he was healthy.

No amount of money would ever make life worth living without him.

Posted by Rockelle at 3:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Enough is enough! Yesterday the temperature was 109. Not for just an hour or so, but it hung there until late in the evening. Day after day, it's over 100 and I don't remember the last time it rained. I looked at the forecast this morning and nothing but triple digit temperatures for the next few days.

I dream of being a New Yorker and fleeing to the Hamptons, Nantucket, or Martha's Vineyard for the month of August. You know, I would suddenly have a mop of thick curly blond hair, baby blue eyes, and wear lots of white. I would frolic in the surf with a big yellow Lab. I would look down on my perfectly pedicured and tan toes and find a fine sprinkling of pale sand. Bare wood would shine and gauzy curtains would sway in the breeze. Ahhhhh.

Yeah, there are actually places that shut down for the month of August. But I live in Texas and not only is it hotter than Hades, but school started Monday. My stepson comes in from school with a tomato colored face and I offer up bottles of water trying to rehydrate him. They have to have recess indoors. The strange thing about all of this is that come October (when the temps start to fall and the kids are finally getting in the swing of things) they will have a weeklong break. Why on earth not have that week at the beginning when it's so hot and it costs so much to cool the schools? Last night it was 99 at ten o'clock. I can't even imagine playing football in that. Poor kids.

All the pretty flowers I have worked so hard to have are now either crispy brown or they have stewed when I tried keeping them alive with lots of water. It's true. Try keeping them wet and soon you have limp cooked spinachy stuff. The only thing flourishing is the cross vine planted by my husband's ex. It is native. In other words, it's a weed. Repeated chopping cannot get rid of it. Nice simile for an ex, huh?

I guess I shouldn't complain. My mother was born in August in Oklahoma. I remember my grandmother talking of how awful it was to be pregnant in the heat. No air conditioning. In fact, no electricity. She put wet dish towels over the windows to try and cool whatever breeze came through. Sometimes I have to remind myself of just how good I have it.

But a few weeks in Nantucket would be so nice right now.

Posted by Rockelle at 12:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

JUST BECAUSE I'M WANDERING, DOESN'T MEAN I'M LOST........

Maybe there is no excuse for not posting lately. Maybe it's because since school has been out my Charter Pipeline cable internet connection has slowed to a near standstill. It's very frustrating. It started with the thunderstorms that caused outages a couple of weeks back, but what is the excuse now? As it is, a rural ten party dialup would be faster. (And I've had those. I know s _ l _ o _ w.) Hubby thinks it's school being out and lots of kiddies being on, but at any hour of the day or night? I don't think so. If you have Charter and have these problems, let me know.

My other excuse is this nasty thing we call life. I have reached a stage at which my children are becoming adults and my parents are becoming children. It ain't pretty and I don't recommend it to anyone. Oh well, I promised never to bitch and moan here and I won't.

I'll just say. CHARTER SUCKS!

Posted by Rockelle at 5:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (21)

The oldest son is about to move out. The plan was to move next weekend, but things change quickly when you're his age. A little history. I came here in May of '99, remarried in November of 2000 and my son stayed in New Mexico with his dad until September of 2001. He's been here living with us since. I thank God for the time we've had together and we are closer now than we ever were, or ever would have been under the previous circumstances.

Somehow we've made it work and he has managed to accept, and I hope love, a stepdad and stepbrother. It was rocky at first and it hasn't been easy, but we've all evolved and become a family. He's ready now to be on his own. He's only moving a couple of hours away to go to school and work and be with his girlfriend. He's saved his money and rented a nice place, planning to move _next_ weekend. However, a job came up that starts Tuesday and he has to be there sooner.

None of us have a vehicle that will carry the bed, desk, donated washer and dryer, tv, etc. that make up his belongings. But luck would have it that his dad will be near here for a family reunion this weekend in a pickup, and can get the largest of his stuff down there.

So what's the problem? You see, my ex can't stand to see me. He has managed to avoid me through our daughter's college graduation and our son's HS graduation, but there is no way he can come to my house to load up our son's belongings and not see me. I don't understand. And since I can't talk to him directly, oh Heaven's no, all communication is through our son. If you are divorced, or a stepparent, you probably know how defensive a child can be of the other parent. We see it regularly with John's son concerning his mother. Of course, she lives nearby and we see and talk to her weekly. Unpleasant though it may be, it's a necessary part of life and we keep things as amiable as possible for the child's sake.

So at this point, I don't know what is going to happen. My son is closemouthed and nervous and I feel it is for no good reason. His wellbeing is my main concern. I think things are made unduly difficult by my ex's inability to just get on with life. It's not as if we were blissfully happy and I split. No. In fact, we hung on in misery for years trying to make it work for our children.

I don't wallow in guilt over the changes I've made in my life, in fact, I think my happiness has been beneficial for my kids. I just wish that all divorced parents and stepparents could set aside their own selfishness and childishness and think of the burden they place on their children by behaving irrationally. After all, we all love them and want them to be happy and healthy and successful in life. It's not that hard, is it?

Posted by Rockelle at 4:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

After my last post on secondhand smoke, it seems only right to share this.

After New York City's recent ban of smoking, restaurants and bars are inventing dishes and drinks featuring none other than nicotiana, otherwise known as nicotine. Yup. At Trump World Tower’s World Bar, you can order a Smokeless Manhattan--three ounces of Churchill’s port, Laphroaig scotch, and orange bitters that’s supposed to taste something like Marlboro Reds. It contains no actual nicotine, though you can order it garnished with a Nicorette. Elsewhere, you can have a Nicotini, a blend of vanilla-flavored vodka, the coffee liqueur Kahlua and a splash of tobacco juice.

Not to be outdone by bartenders, chef Sandro Fioriti of NYC Italian restaurant Serafina Sandro
came up with his own nicotine laced delicacies. The dishes include gnocchi made with tobacco, filet mignon served in a tobacco-wine sauce with dried-tobacco garnish, tobacco panna cotta and tobacco-infused grappa. More are in the works. Mmmmm.

Has you reminiscing about those brownies mom _didn't_ make when you were in high school, huh?

For a laugh, check out Gersh Kuntzman's entertaining piece about his own nicotine cuisine sampling. Here's the New York Post's take on the effect of the ban on NYC's restaurant and bar industry. Also see what's happened to NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg's popularity in the aftermath of the ban.

I'm not an activist, and nope, this space is not supported by the tobacco industry. However, I wouldn't be offended if Brown & Williamson sent me a few bucks. Even some really good coupons would be nice.

Posted by Rockelle at 4:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Okay. I confess. I smoke. It is a nasty, unhealthy, horrible habit, but if you smoke and if you have tried to quit, you know it is not easy to kick the habit. 'Nuff said. My concern, and the guilt laid upon me by my husband, is that even if I care not for myself, consider the effects on him.

I read today of a new study by the UCLA School of Public Health published in the May 17 issue of the British Medical Journal that shows there are no measurable rates of heart disease or lung cancer among nonsmokers who ever lived with smokers. "We found no measurable effect from being exposed to secondhand smoke and an increased risk of heart disease or lung cancer in nonsmokers -- not at any time or at any level," lead researcher James Enstrom, PhD, MPH, of the UCLA School of Public Health, says. "The only thing we did find, which was not reported in the study, is that nonsmokers who live with smokers have a increased risk of widowhood because their smoking spouses do die prematurely."

Of course, the American Cancer Society blasted the study , as did the Surgeon General, which one can only expect. Dallas recently used danger of secondhand smoke to ban smoking in almost all public places, allowing it only in bars, tobacco shops and pool halls, which must also provide designated smoking and nonsmoking areas. I know I always seek out the nonsmoking section of a pool hall, don't you?

What ever happened to common sense? Miners keep canaries, right? If the canary keels over, they know to hightail it because poisonous gases are present. I've smoked a long time and lived with many totally indoor pets who lived to extremely ripe old age. I've worked in veterinary clinics where cats were brought in that reeked from sitting in mama's lap for 15 years as she puffed away on unfiltered Marlboros. But not once, even when the doctor was avidly against smoking, was a pet found to have suffered deleterious effects from the owner's smoking. If it's not hurting a ten pound cat, how is it harmful to a two hundred pound man?

I'll end by saying we should _all_ be considerate of one another and exercise a little common sense....

Posted by Rockelle at 3:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I hope everyone had a great Mother's Day. I know I did. All my family was here and on Saturday, the daughter, my mom, and I went shopping. My mother lives in a small town and has no place to shop besides Wal Mart, so I treated her to some new clothes. My daughter provided a wonderful break in the afternoon with spa pedicures and bellinis. We had a great day.

Sunday was just as great. We ended the day at Edelweiss, a kitschy German restaurant in south Fort Worth where there is a genuine polka band wearing lederhose (leather shorts). I did mention kitsch, didn't I? It was a blast. We almost danced our newly gorgeous toes off.

My son gifted me with a rack of beautiful dipping oils and by building a top shelf on my potting bench, which I love. My dear husband surprised me (even though I'm not his mother) with French matches, "The Best of James Taylor", a gift certificate to Restoration Hardware and Post Mortem, a PC game I've been wanting.

Post Mortem comes from Microids , the same people who created Syberia, another adventure game that I loved. I prefer my games to be beautiful, eerie, and challenging. No shooting, stabbing, or swordplay for me.

PM lacked the otherworldliness of Syberia. You can easily read about the game elsewhere, so I'll just share a few observations. The puzzles were very challenging, translate HARD. Syberia featured lots of mechanical puzzles, whereas PM's are mostly mathematical. And then there was the lock picking that really confused me. More than once, I had to go find help to get through, something I hate to do. Cool features of the game are that gameplay often depends on the direction you take conversations, even down to what items will be available. Also, about halfway through the game, you play as another character for a while, which is interesting. I understand there are three possible outcomes to the game. I saved before the last chapter, so I could go back, but I doubt I will. All in all, it was entertaining. It has a film noir feel and is set in 20's Paris. If you like adventure games, it is certainly worth your money and time.

I'll close by saying that I am a very, very lucky woman. I have an awesome family and I love and admire them more than they will ever know. I am exceedingly grateful.

Posted by Rockelle at 3:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I haven't posted here for a while because I've been sick. Not seriously ill, just miserably so. I hate those blogs in which the author almost daily writes of how terrible they feel, listing symptoms and complaints. They whine. It's their blog and the beauty of it all is that nobody paid to get in and no one has to read it. Great, huh?

My illness has been more of the two boxes of tissue a day sort. My husband is sympathetic and sweet, but it always ends with a pat on the head and "You'll be better tomorrow." Real message: "I have no clean underwear." I'm drifting along thinking it is my annual "allergy/sinus infection/maybe it's a tooth" thing, when I'm diagnosed with SARS. Yup. See, the main person I whine to is my mother. It's sooo good. "Oh, you poor baby" and "bless your heart." I can smell Vicks just hearing the words over the phone. I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy and mentholated and loved when it hits, "You don't think it could be SARS, do you?" Huh? She proceeds to explain to me how some of my symptoms match those of SARS victims and there are many unreported cases in Texas and how the Dr. should test for it. Fuzzy and groggy and sniffly as I am, I almost start to fall for it, imagining my family locked up someplace, losing jobs, failing at school, quarantined and shunned as I lay dying. WHOA!

My mother is an intelligent person, but the sources of her information include CNN, Oprah, Good Housekeeping and somebody she talked with in line at Walmart. Retired people seem to have networks of information unavailable to the rest of us. How do I know? Yesterday, Mom's diagnosis was confirmed by a second opinion. My mother-in-law's.

So.. Recovering from SARS as I am, I should be able to once more post regularly. At least until July or so, when I'll likely be maternally diagnosed with the West Nile Virus.

Posted by Rockelle at 10:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

We're going on little trip this week. Hopefully, when we return I'll have something new to write about and some good pictures too.

Posted by Rockelle at 11:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

There was no entry yesterday because most of my time was spent on taxes. Finally, at 1:00 am Central Daylight Savings Time, they were completed. The labor was not a long one, but was quite painful. So this morning I made a vow to stop and smell the roses. After all, that's not taxed. The roses aren't blooming yet, but the Japanese Maple out my office window is gorgeous. Later in the summer the heat will take it's toll and lightly scald the leaves, but right now it's perfect. This tree, planted March 29, 2000, was one of the first things we planted after I came here. In my mind, it sort of represents our commitment and the time we have been together. Previously I lived in New Mexico and had planted Japanese Maples twice only to see them shrivel up and die in the arid climate there. This one has thrived, growing slowly, and giving much pleasure. The photo I took this morning doesn't begin to show the many colors and the play of light and shadows it presents. It's absolutely breathtaking (I don't use that term lightly) and I wanted to share it. A Thing of Beauty is a Joy for Ever _Keats

Posted by Rockelle at 12:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

After this morning's rain the dug out patio addition we were going to work on this weekend is now the new reflecting pool. Tomorrow John and the youngest kiddo are going to Six Flags, but I'm begging off. The older I get, the less appeal it has for me. Don't you just hate those ludicrous Disney World commercials featuring a retired couple toasting one another with metamucil in the moonlight? "Hey honey, let's take that 10k we were saving for Hawaii and go to Disney World instead." Sure! Who the hell really wants to go there unless they have to take the kids? It's like eating at McDonald's. You pay your dues, and then you're done. I'm actually allergic to all things Disney anyway.

I need to devote some time to figuring out CSS. I'm not happy at all with the appearance of this thing. The other templates at MovableType don't do anything for me. I'm not bad with HTML, but the CSS is something I've had little experience with. So, if you should come here and things look a little strange, check back and watch them get stranger.

Friday evening. Looks like it's time to order pizza and feed the hungry masses. Hope everyone has a fun and safe night

Posted by Rockelle at 5:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Quickie. If anyone knows of a great B&B in Austin, or any great (not too expensive) place to stay, please let me know. We're going in a few weeks and are trying to make a decision.

Posted by Rockelle at 11:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)