Flapper's Folly

Recently the Puter Ho and I acquired a new vehicle. The '97 Pontiac I brought to this union had served well, but when the air conditioner crashed and the cost to repair it was a huge percent of the value, we decided it was time for it to go. We have a nice sedan, but it's getting a lot of miles on it and we're tired of renting the Home Depot truck to bring relatively small things home. Neither of us wanted a pickup, so a small SUV seemed the solution. A friend had recently gotten a Honda CR-V and we liked it and decided it was time to enter the small SUV market.

After a bit of research, off we went to test new vehicles. The CR-V was first. It's a nice size, but comes with few amenities, especially power seats. The Puter Ho is 6 foot and, sadly, I'm a foot shorter. Adjusting seats and mirrors is an almost daily hassle. Listen closely, because the height issue is very important. The back door on the CR-V opens sideways. No sweat. But no power seats, so we start to explore. Up a bit in size and the doors open "up". No problem, but grasping and pulling them down turned out to be a problem. I kind of jumped and hung on. I'm too friggin' old to hang like a monkey to close the back door. Even the car-like Nissan Murano's back door was difficult for me to close.

We test drove every small to midsize SUV in the Metroplex. LIke Goldilocks I climbed in, adjusted seats, drove, and opened and closed rear doors. One was just right... This sweet thing drove like my sedan , only better, the seats and mirrors remembered individual settings and glory of glories, the rear door opened and closed at the touch of a button. It was perfect. Oh yeah. In all it's cushy leather and Steinway wood trim, it was everything I ever wanted. And cost more than my first house!

We bought it. Why? Because I could manage the rear door and the seats adjusted so easily. That's the truth. My daughter said I needed a bigger rock on the hand that steers it. My mother said that "at my age" I deserve it. The Puter Ho said it had to have the Navigation package which cost what the car that goes with the first house cost.

So why is this post titled "Old Hippie Chick"? I'll tell you. I'm ashamed. I love the car. I love the comfort, the kickass sound system, the navigation, the rear door. I love it all. Hell, my cell phone rings, it mutes the radio, and I answer it on the steering wheel and just talk. But there is a part of me that is ashamed to own it. It is soooo not me. I'm all natural and not materialistic. Really. I am the ultimate hippie chick. We can leave off the "old" part. It's the first thing I have owned that really grates against everything I stand for.

In the past I've sneered at bleached, tanned, manicured bitches driving such vehicles as they gabbed away into their phones. Remember. I'm not like that.

I don't even have to touch my phone.

Posted by Rockelle at 5:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The holidays are coming. Yipee! The older I get the "scroogier" I become. It's just a horrible time to be a woman. Somehow it is upon women's shoulders to provide everyone with loving feelings, wonderful gifts, delicious food, and happy memories. It sucks.

I love some parts of the celebration. I like decorating the house. I have trees in all rooms of the house and every year one of them gets a new theme. This year the one in our bedroom will be French with Eiffel Towers, toile, maribou and fleur di lis. I've got the supplies to start making ornaments and have it all planned, but I don't know when I'll get to it. I like to make candies. I'm the only person in my family who still makes my grandmother's divinity, pralines, and fudge. It's important to me.

I like giving gifts to those I love, but I hate the shopping and I think it's wrong when someone hands you a list and tells you where to get the desired items or requests cash so they can get whatever they want. And I especially resent obligatory gifts. You know, gifts for people you know nothing about and care even less for. What is the spirit of that? And then there are the gifts for family members. Not your immediate family, not the ones you wish you could give more to, but the family you never see, usually not even at Christmas. Thanksgiving rolls around and you get a call telling you what to get their child and they ask what to purchase for your kiddo. If you're lucky you can order it online and have shipped directly to them. This way there is absolutely nothing personal about the transaction. That's just WRONG!

Don't get the idea I'm cheap or uncaring. I don't want to receive any obligatory gifts either. A gift is supposed to represent feeling. Hopefully a warm one. I could go on and on, but not today. I will finish by saying that I will no longer be the enforcer of all this madness. If you don't want to call your sister, don't! If the scout leader, dance instructor, or SS teacher is an ass, I will not suggest a gift be given.

This year I may make candy, enjoy my pretty trees, be with the people I truly love and the rest of it can be damned.

Posted by Rockelle at 12:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

This time of year not only finds the mailbox outside full of catalogs and sales fliers, but more retailers than ever seem to be hitting me in email this year. In much the same way I glance through the catalogs before tossing them or dog-earing a page with a possible gift idea, I scan the emails, often saving a special offer for discounts or free shipping from a place I've shopped previously and sometimes checking out the website of a retailer I never knew existed.

Today my inbox turned up a neat one I'd like to share. Not another place offering up musical santas or overpriced nighties or even in some cases musical nighties, this one is like a Container Store that you can easily shop from home. Home Focus features a huge selection of gadgets and organizers of every type. Being a believer that if only everything had a place and was properly organized, the house would clean itself and my life would be tranquil and serene, I can't help but love this site.

Not just the usual array of shelving, boxes, etc. Home Focus features items I've not seen elsewhere. For instance, a keyring with a built-in phone charger I thought was particulary neat. There is an amazing offering of items to manage, organize, and clean your car, yard, pets, every room of the house and more. Check it out.

Online shopping is a great way to do some Christmas shopping while sitting snug and warm in your PJs. A nice way to spend a few hours this weekend, don't you think?

Posted by Rockelle at 10:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I read quite a few blogs and have found a huge number of blogs created for the sole purpose of planning weddings. They not only go over every detail of the planning and provide links to every baker, jeweler, etc. in a tri state area, they also let us in on what the poor groom to be thought and how he hurt their feelings and on and on and on ad nauseum. Some of these blogs are combined efforts allowing several brides to be to share resources and whine to one another If you've come across one and you're feeling a bit woozy or if you are a single girl without prospects who would like to see the bitches' hard drives crash and burn, I have found the cure. A blog/website that features an ugly wedding dress of the day, UglyWeddingDress.com is great fun. The author searches the web finding the worst of the worst, true wedding gown atrocities, and delivers them with witty and entertaining commentary. If you've ever poured over one of the bridal magazines, wondering what on earth the designers were thinking, you must go check this out.

Posted by Rockelle at 2:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

This is just too good not to share.

Dallas socialite, Brooke Stollenwerck Aldridge, 48, of Hyland Park, who earned a "best dressed" distinction from Vogue magazine has been arrested on suspicion of shoplifting about $2,000 worth of designer goods from the Nieman Marcus department store in Dallas.

Security monitors observed Aldridge trying to sneak items out of the store in her purse and a shopping bag. Among the items that she is suspected of shoplifting were a pair of black pants valued at $485, a Hermes wallet valued at $1,250 and a Kate Spade wallet valued at $120, according to police documents.

Oh my, the cost of keeping up appearances.

Posted by Rockelle at 5:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Avast Maties! My real mate just sent me this message, "Arrr, ye be the stars I set sail by." Isn't that sweet? He's really good at this pirate talking thing. There was something he said about a timber this morning, but I don't think I should repeat it here. As for me, I always come out sounding Irish when I try. We're thinking of having a "Talk Like a Pirate Day" party next year. Doesn't that sound like fun?

I thought I'd share a few shopping links today. RetroDepot, which I've mentioned before, is back up and running. They had stopped filling orders over the summer while they physically moved across the country. I've raved about them before and they seem to have even more to offer now.

Ballard Designs is one of my favorites. My decorating tends toward French country and they have the most wonderful stuff. They offer almost everything for the home. Prices are a bit steep, but everything I've bought from them has been of excellent quality and good value. Check out the estate sale which is their term for clearance.

Another great place, Rue de France, features more French country goodies. Visit their clearance area at Le Warehouse.

Featuring more authentic items, all crafted by hand in Provence, is eMosaique. I've never ordered from them, but they offer cool authentic French items at what seems to me outrageous prices. It's a nice place to get ideas, though.

I'll share more links another day, but with fall coming and Christmas ahead it seems a good time to start looking. I suggest you order their catalogs. They often offer items not online or at better prices. They show their products used in rooms and vignettes that will give you great ideas for your home. Then if you can't or don't want to pay their sometimes steep prices, shop locally or visit the old standby, eBay. You can almost always duplicate the look for less.

And for all the wannabe pirates out there, go here for some slightly racy Pirate talk and pickup lines. Now don't you wish you had thought to buy that domain. Arrrrrrrrrr.........

Posted by Rockelle at 11:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Want to be one of the beautiful people? Want to feel tall, thin, smooth, savvy, and sweet smelling? It's easier than you think. Just head out on Sunday afternoon to your local Sam's Club.

You'll feel better as soon as you enter the parking lot. You don't really need that 350Z to be cool. You'll suddenly realize your old 2000 Pontiac, rustless and without bondo, is the ultimate in sexy wheels.

Your transformation continues as you join the exodus to the entrance. Yes indeed, you'll hold your head high and strut your hot stuff across the oily, chewing gum covered crosswalk amid those dragging oddly mishapen limbs, others with drug or alcohol induced jitters and characters strangely reminiscent of Jabba the Hutt, rolling slowly along, their copious rolls of greasy flesh swaying as they shuffle toward the doors.

You will feel eighteen again as you show your card to the rusty relic at the door. And as you gaze out across the store, you'll KNOW that you are the ultimate in chic in your clean, holeless attire. Why, here, even having your fly zipped is a fashion coup! The bar of Dial you showered with this morning? A costly and sweet perfume amidst the bouquet of the great unwashed.

As you dare to venture up and down the aisles, snippets of conversations will drift to your ears. You'll smile to yourself, marveling at your superior intelligence and language skills. And you will love your smile, no longer covetous of those bright white chiclets on the big screen, as you gaze upon those with darkened stumps and yellowed jumbled spikes emerging between dry cracked lips.

If you should dare to take your children, I don't suggest it, you will find they are the most adorable and well groomed creatures on earth. Not to mention, extremely intelligent and advanced for their ages. Other children, reeking of excrement and wearing yesterday's lunch on their faces and clothing will stare in awe as your handsome offspring pass.

As you stand in line with your wobbly cart of Bounty and Quilted Northern, multi packs of batteries, twenty pound box of Sweet n' Low and winsome bouquet of daisies, you kindly allow a family of six with eight cases of beer and a fifty pound bag of beans to go in front of you. Smiling beatifically at the less fortunate around you, you'll feel a faint halo forming over your head.

After loading your items into your trunk while watching a man toss his four youngsters into the bed of his pickup for the ride home, you buckle your seatbelt, glowing in the knowledge that you are the crème de la crème.

So if you have a job interview coming up, or a really big date, take my advice. Your confidence will soar. You will truly be one of the Beautiful People. All it takes is a Sunday afternoon visit to Sam's.

Posted by Rockelle at 10:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Check these out.

Posted by Rockelle at 3:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I found it interesting that the Iraqi "most wanted" cards I wrote about last week are being manufactured locally for the government by the Liberty Playing Card Company in Arlington (story) . I found them available for purchase here.

Posted by Rockelle at 11:42 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

After watching the statue of Saddam brought down in Baghdad, I had to wonder, how long before bits of it were being offered on ebay? Today I read that the US military has issued a most-wanted list in the form of a deck of cards, featuring Saddam Hussein as the ace of spades along with other top figures in his toppled regime in the deck. These cards were issued to US troops to help them find and identify the senior members of the regime. Wow! Flashcards for soldiers. You gotta know those will be hot sellers on ebay.

A search for Saddam on ebay brought up 2733 items. None of these cards were there _yet_, but there were playing decks and collectible cards from Desert Storm. Most listings were for Iraqi dinar and, surprisingly, most had bids. There were the expected tee shirts and buttons. The most interesting have to be buttons featuring your chosen dog breed in a tank with the words "Lhasa Apsos (or your favorite breed) Are Coming At You Saddam!" A note in the listing states they do not sell to France or Germany. Ha! These are just bizarre. Apparently dog breed collectibles are big business on ebay because I've found nearly everything one can imagine emblazoned with Pekingese, Poodles, Scotties, etc. And selling! I'll explore that topic another day.

Back to Saddam. Of course there were the expected bumper stickers, posters, and tees featuring Calvin doing his thing. There was"Wipe Out Saddam"toilet tissue and "Dope on a Rope" soap. Mostly junk, the list goes on and on and most items have bids.

If you have a few minutes to spare, go check it out. I'm sure the playing cards will turn up soon. As for me, I'm off to make "Kittys Will Find You, Saddam" buttons. You never know, I might make millions.

Posted by Rockelle at 12:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I'm strapped for time today, so I thought I would share a few sites that have cute and unique retro stuff. The fabric below will soon be valances on my office windows. I just love it. I ordered it from RetroDepot. It came beautifully wrapped in tissue with stickers and a collectible postcard. I just can't say enough good things about this place and I can't wait to order more. Our house could easily become a Tiki palace. Another great site is The Naughty Secretary Club. Lots of interesting things there, including neat jewelry and purses. I haven't bought anything there so I can't really recommend their store, but the merchandise looks cool. One more you might want to check out is Atomic, touted as the Essential Guide to Retro Culture, it is the website of Atomic magazine. There are articles, lists of events, and of course, you can subscribe to their magazine. One I found today is melinamade. It features retro fabric, wallpapers (the kind you put on the wall), and glassware. The price on barkcloth here is more than double what it is at RetroDepot. That's it for now. Happy "retro" shopping!

Posted by Rockelle at 3:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Yesterday the daughter and I visited Bath & Body Works. I had received a coupon in the mail offering $10 free merchandise or $10 off any purchase. The bottom of the coupon also offered $50 off any $100 dollar purchase. Wow! Half price is good, right? We decided together we could easily tote up $100 and be out only $25 each. Sounds, wonderful, huh?

B&BW has to have the most clever marketing scheme on earth. Sounds easy to gather up 100 bucks of sweet smelling goodies, but the reality is frightening. Nothing is as it seems in B&BW. A soap is marked $7, but buy three for only $15. The shampoo is $9, but pick out $20 in the aromatherapy line and it is free. Buy two, get one free. Buy one, get the second half price. You get the idea. It gets complicated!

So we have our little basket, walking around sniffing stuff, trying to get items we really want and still take advantage of the all the specials. Eventually we are in the floor, one calculating and keeping track of specials, while the other runs back and forth across the store to get the much needed items to make all the deals work. Now.... Imagine this times 5 because we aren't the only poor souls who got the damned coupon and decided to share in the booty with a friend, mother, sister, daughter, etc. All over the store, women are spreading out bottles in little groups and counting on their fingers.

I would like to say this story has a happy ending. But you see, after accounting for all the special deals and actually getting a few things we liked, we were at $109 before tax. Nine dollars is almost ten and guess what was lurking in my purse? Another coupon for $10 off a $25 purchase. For only $6 more we could have $25 more. This reasoning doesn't seem sound to me today, but yesterday, amidst others on the floor, counting and running, it made absolute sense.

This is how it went. We spent well over $80 with tax to save half of $100, much of which we didn't need in the first place. I'm so ashamed of myself. And to top it off, today when I cozied up to my husband, swinging my freshly shampooed hair, he didn't even notice the lovely sensual, stress-relieving "blue lavender palmarosa" scent.

Posted by Rockelle at 6:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

For only $39.95, your little best friend can accompany you in style. Leofly is available in 2 sizes – for small and very small dogs, and it is made with an anti-reddening sheath and a total comfort cushion to keep your dog happy and relaxed as you carry! Carry Leofly by an adjustable shoulder strap or by its easy-grip ergonomic handle! I'm curious about the anti-reddening sheath thing. Order yours today at ShopHSG.

Posted by Rockelle at 12:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)